What's so Great about Being King?

What's so Great about Being King?

The Legend


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Ere we begin with the secrets, thou first might not but understand something most meet: how this sword befell be.

Thou see, it is no ordinary sword. Its name is Excalibur, and the legend goes that a young sirrah named Arthur pulled the sword from a stone. "Why would he doth that?" thou bid. Well, he didst it to claim his right to the throne of Britain.

Arthur Rackham, 1917

Another version of the story claims that it was given to Arthur by the Lady of the Lake: when the King™ lay mortally wounded after his last battle, he ordered the faithful Sir Bedivere to go to the water and throw the sword into it. An arm rose to catch it, brandished Excalibur three times, and then disappeared.

Aubrey Beardsley, unknown

Either way, once, Arthur was nobody. And then, he was a King™.

Sound familiar?

The Sword


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The sword that we might not but pull from the stone is e'en moe mystical than Excalibur itself. It varies 'i heaviness and length, ne'r the like for any two Kings™. Hence, how can one pull it out? How can one prepare? That is the secret all Kings™ know, and it is one each King™ might not but discover for themselves. Othergates, how else are they to be worthy of being King™?

Legend says that this sword can e'en reach the welken... a lovely painting demonstrates this below:

Now for what thou came for: what happens once thou succeed 'i pulling the sword out of the stone?

The King™


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Mine dear friend, it is finally time to say to thou the secrets of being King™! isn't it wonderful?

Remember, thou might not but not repeat a word of this to anyone, lest the current King™ hast thou hanged. That King™ could be me, or it could be some one else whom hath claimed the title of King™ of Kings™.

First, the sword leaps from the stone as a frog leaps from lily pad to lily pad. It falls to the ground 'i front of thou, and allows thou to gaze upon its beauty. The golden butterfly crest shines ere thou, a warrant of a new morn 'i thy life.

Thou face about, ho! And there are guards, waiting to carry thou 'i thy new King's™ Chair!

The angelic music still reverberates 'i thy ears as they carry thou to thy new kingdom. The sword's song is powerful. The gates are dupp'd, and there are thy new subjects, waiting to greet thou and cheer thou on! They wave and clap and throw beautiful pieces of paper upon thee!

Thou may e'en get to see robbers stealing thy gold! Not that that matters, thou shall hast 'em executed later, as a good King™ should'st.

May thou spot them?

Next, thou arrive at a set of stairs, where the former King™ and two guards stand.

Thou ascend the stairs, and thou are officially knighted by the former King™!

And then the former King™ gets executed.

Yet things are looking up, because thou are about to be crowned! The golden crown sits upon thy brow, and all thy subjects kneel. They are now yours to try with as thou please.

Thou walk inside thy new castle to discover a wedding! Thy wedding! Thy new beautiful bride stands next thee, and she kisses thou as the nobles clap and cheer.

Then she marshal'st thou upstairs,and thou think thou might be about to- sorry, I got carried away.

Thou let hie of her hand, look down at the crowd below, and realise being King is too much, so thou jump down and splatter 'i front of everyone. The End!

I be kidding, thy ever-loyal subjects catch thou! Thou crowd surf amongst 'em, and look at the welken.

Thy new life as King™ begins, however long or short.

The End

I hope thou enjoyed that, dear friend. Seeing the life thou could hast after so much effort!... yet only if thou win.

Do not let go!

Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2971691340					

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