How to actually start progressing on Cookie Clicker.

How to actually start progressing on Cookie Clicker.


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1. theres nothing between you and the duty of making cookies.

2. the cookies are the only reason to live. they're are a whole lifestyle, they are our hope, they are our deliverance, they are the heaven but also the hell, cookies are a religion, cookies are our god from now on. they will love you but they will judge you. they will forgive you but they wont forget.

and most important:

3. the last two rules are untouchable and theres no valid reason to desecrate against the cookie bible

you will need all this knowledge to fully understand the background functioning of this game. you are not playing the game, the game is playing with you. we'll return to that point later.


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you will need to sacrifice all the aspects of your life on playing cookie clicker, because obviusly it's a good decision and you will never regret about this.

about the school, you will quit it. the commitment you are having with this game needs to be full and studying will make you lose time, energy and a lot of grind.

since you need resources to keep living and playing, you'll need to make your day as automated as you can. there will be only 20 minutes of the day destined to going to the bathroom. you will eat while you're playing and your family will cook you. if you dont have a family, you can enslave some people to cook, work and pay the taxes for you. the last one is actually pretty important since you need electricity to grind cookie clicker.

once you deleted all the disctractions, then you're ready to grind.


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now you are focus on the important and you have all potential problems away, its time to start cookie clicker. im asumming that if you are reading this, you actually have cookie clicker in steam, but if you dont, you will download it as fast as you can, because theres nothing between you and the duty of baking cookies. first rule, remember?

you will start clicking and probably get obsessed with the idea of baking even more cookies.

if you need information about the game mechanics and faster ways to bake, you should read this wiki and probably, download it and study it. here's a link

maybe you are asking why the hell you are reading a guide that doesnt teach you about real in-game mechanics and you are probably right BUT, after two thousand hours of playing cookie clicker, i believe that its important you familiarize yourself with how the game works. part of the lesson is you discovering the game.

one method you'll have to apply is playing with only one eye closed, while the other one keeps checking the numbers. with this, you wont have to rest at nights and you'll be able to spent the 100% of you time in baking cookies. anyway, your health doesnt matter, the cookies are actually more important, something you probably already know at this point.


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if you havent played enough cookie clicker, you shouldnt be reading this but if you did:

i warned you. or maybe i didnt, who cares. the important thing is that theres one more between us, one more grinding and spilling the cookie religion around the world. share this guide. share the game. spamm orteils twitter account, spamm the cookie clicker steam shop article, spamm the web, expand the community. theres no turning back.

god bless the cookie production.

nothing else matters.


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