The Brap.
I sat there; playing Postal 2 on my PC; around august last year.
I had just beaten Paradise lost on POSTAL doifficulmt in under 69 minutes; and unlocked all the achivements.
Having nothing bemmeter top do; i piss around in da settingz to find anythimng i had misseds.
i search for a whiole; eventually finding something i did not recognise.
I found a setting called "true mode"; its description only saying "the true ending".
not sure what it was; i enabled it and started a new game on average, a week in paradise mode, no enhancements.
as the game loaded; i got dis as da loamding screen:
Then; a few secomns layter the game loded.
I spawned outside my trailer; the full screen in black and white.
da Postal dudem said to himself:
"Not again, please."
Confused; I take a moment to process before continuing;
first objective; git milk.
So i b-hop backwards to da lucky gamesh; entering the sore i get da saemn lodding dscreen, weirdly enoyugh i see ZERO npcs on the way there; a bit freaky but ok.
Upon entering the store, I see nbodoy; the shelves empty except the milk.
confused by the chances; i progress, curious,
I grab the milk and head to thecounter.
I try to get a weapon out by pressing de mumber keys; only to notice something was off; all weapons were missing, i hadent picked up ANY.
Then, i noticed to my horror.
the store clerk was da GRIM REAPER!!!!
scareds ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥; i dun crappered my pants, shidding and farding violently all ocer my $69,000 pewdiepie gaming chair.
The reaper said to me:
"5 bucks; or your soul."
having no mone; I had no diea what to do.
Suddenly da reaper saiod;'
"Ok thats it, your soul it is!"
He themn started walking towards me; phasing through the walls.
terrified; I turn and run to the frotn door; only to find it locked.
cornered' I try to out manuver the reaper by qicking him and b-hopping but he was 2 fast 4 me!!!
he grabbs me and I DIEEEE!!!!!!!!
i pres sapce to reload the gaem; getting da saem loedingm screen as before.
But this time; my game loads into a hellish space.
The sky black, only hellfire in the background; postal dude lookming justa s comfused as I was.
Suddemnly; the words "RUN" appeared at da top.
so I decide to run to the right.
Out of NOWHERE; the antagonist from HATRED starts chasing me!!!!!
he shouts:
"I AM GOING TO ♥♥♥♥ YOUR ASS; YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ PINKO BASTARD!!!!!"
Shidding myselfph with fear; i run to the right to escape him; HATREED dude running clsoe behind me!!!
aFTER an HOURS AND A HALF of rumming; i finale reach a cave that allowed me to exit da levelm.
The same loading screen, aagin.
UUUGGGHHH!!!!
Then, i loadmn into the nexzt levelm.
I arrive otuside a church; the screen in black and white.
I explore for a bit, no NPCs or anything.
but eventually I find a graveyard.
Curious; i explore da gravemyard; till i find a grave for "Champ"; da postal dudes dogg.
The game asked me
"Are you sure you want to see him aagin?"
I agreed and the postal dude dug up the grave.
The scene showed a coffin; a blood stain on the lid.
it asked:
"Are you SURE this is what you want?"
I agreed.
postal dudem opened the coffin; showing CHAMPS DED BOPDDEY!!!
scared; i SHIDDED AND FARDED... AGAIN!!!
ALL OVER MY PEWDIEPIE CHAIR!!!
Suddenly ; dis text appeared on da screen.
Suddemnly; da spostal dude fell 2 his knees and stared KRYING.
he den took out a shotgun;his eyes dripping HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD; and he SHOT HISMELFG.
Da pomstel dudem layd ded on the floor; and da grim repper threw his lifeless body into the grave with champs.
"Cope hardmener; pinko" said da repper.
da grimm repepr den re-sealed the coffin, buried it and took a FAT PISS all over it!!!
he den took off his hood; revealing him to be teh guy from POSTAL 2!
only then ddi i notice the postal dude I was playing was the one from postal 3!
"See you in hell, Pinko" said postal dude; before he walked off.
Then; the agme crashed.
the error message said only one thing.
"Don't buy postal 3, its stinky poo poo piss aids."
After that, i had to clean all the poopoo off my gaming chair; my mommny was very mad at me.
[THE END.]
Message From The Writer
Hope you enjoyed this awful Postal 2 creepypasta I shidded out in less than an hour while dying of a catnip overdose.
Disclaimer for all the brain dead Pinko's out there:
This story is FICTIONAL.
Anyway; I might write an actual serious one; I migt not.
wrote this to take the piss out of dumb gaming creepy pastas writen by 5 year olds.
Likes or awards would be appreciated.
Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2755594049
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