I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin Good Dating Simulator how to order kfc irl(18+)

About Me

Hello everyone, my name is elso and I am the greatest jew on steam.

I have gone to KFC over 5 times in my life including 1 time in palestine(there are none in israel).

I first thought of this guide when I asked myself how I can obtain e-fame involving the new KFC game on steam, and realized there are some people here who don't even know there are restaurants based off this game!

If you find this guide helpful you can find more tips and tricks about literally nothing related to KFC in my discord server at https://discord.gg/ETvY9DC

Getting There

Human interaction: 0 to 3/10

Difficulty: varies

Speed: varies

TL;DR google it and get there somehow, giving up and moving on to other goals in life if there is none near you

long version:

google/ddg/startpage/whatever you kids use these days you know back in my day we, anyway just find a kfc near you, use your goggle maps to get there, i doubt anyone on steam actually knows how to drive so you'll be forced to walk(requires occassional staring at people better than you in cars) or taking public transportation(will require minimal hi with bus driver, far more if you do some stupid ♥♥♥♥ like try to carjack) Alternativly be a tryhard and skateboard there

once you arrive within 5000 miles of a kfc, proceed to next step

Entering The Building + In Line

once you are within 5k miles(suck it non-moonlanders) of a kfc, locate a door, if you can't do this i have no idea how you managed to exit your mom's basement,

WARNING: POTENTIONAL FOR HUMAN INTERACTION

if someone is at the door just standing there, ignore them and proceed to enter. If they're blocking your way and appear to be a police, inform them that you are a soverign citizen who refuses to allow "the law enforcement" from recieving your kfc.

If someone appears to be holding a door open for you, assert dominance and refuse to enter until they leave. Do not ever bend knee and accept their "assistance". NEVER EVER say thank you. This admits that you required them and are incapable.

if someone is behind you or you reach the door before the person inside does, do 1 of to things depending on your sexuality:

if they're attractive to you, hold it open and say "heh, nice threads bro"

if they're unattractive to you, hold it open and say "heh, nice threads bro". We don't talk badd about people just because of their appearance, that is a stupid thing to do.

MAYBE OPTIONAL: LINES

if nobody is waiting, skip to next step. If someone appears to be waiting immidietly approach them and say the following depending on your sexual tastes.

if you like them: "mmm. you can cut infront of me anytime baby"

if you don't like them: "bro i was here you wanna go bro" after that do a street fight and win.

Either way, next up comes the human interaction part we've all been waiting for............................

FEMALE CASHIER, VERY HOT: HOW TO APPROACH

human interaction: 9/10

difficulty: 10/10

You notice something, in the unnatural light of KFC among the greasy smell, lies an angel at the cashier, being so nice to the customers and taking it from karen like a good ♥♥♥♥♥ mmm yeah, wish i was karen right now.... Either way, you've decided to change objectives and instead focus on getting laid tonight instead of actually ordering. There is a tried and true method pioneered by none other than the boston runner himself, that 1 guy you kinda knew who was at the horrible Boston Marathon Bombing of 2013. Since he met his wife by saving her life at the marathon, you need to false flag a terrorist attack as an anarcho-statist. Once you blow up the kfc, you're not escaping justice and will instead be remembered as the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who took Andrew's and Sarah's son's life like a piece of ♥♥♥♥ go ♥♥♥♥ yourself. You will not die by the state though, as a vigilante who's older brother was killed in the bombing knew you beforehand and will rip out your fingernails before stabbing your eyeballs with a small wooden stick. What he does after that is beyond our guide.

UGLY GIRL/DUDE CASHIER

TL;DR place an order without bumbling over it like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥

long version:

Since you didn't actually cut in line like the cuck you are, you waited for about 2 mins before you could walk to the cashier and bumble over your order like so

"uhh"

then you stare at the menu

"i'll have a smokey mountain bbq sandwich"(god tier taste, high culture, gets laid, probably rich and cool)

"i'll have (random side dish and a drink)(kinda dumb, chill guy, reliable though)

"i'll have some(generic ass bucket of chicken)(basic ♥♥♥♥♥)

Alternatively you whip out your gun and attempt a robbery, I have no experience doing this and recommend doing this ONLY if you are trained in the gun skill tree in KFC robbery side-quest first.

Irregardless, you somehow managed to place a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ order after around 20 seconds. proceed to next step

GETTING FOOD

honestly haven't been to a kfc in along time idk how this went, so instead i'll be discussing how to install Arch Linux on your PC(does not include creating usb)

1. Set keyboard layout with loadmap, available key layouts are in ls /usr/share/kbd/keymaps/**/*.map.gz

2. Getting internet is a ♥♥♥♥♥ if you're on wifi, good luck with that lmao, ethernet/usb ethernet auto connects otherwise

3. Set clock correctly with timedatectl set-ntp true

4. Disk partitioning, won't be going over it due to conflicting opinions regarding the modern use of swap space.

5. Format the partitions as applicable, i.e mkfs.ext4 /dev/sda1

6. mount partitions as applicable i.e mount /dev/sda1 /mnt

7. Select mirrors in /etc/pacman.d/mirrorlist, removing ones not near you.

8. pacstrap /mnt base

9. genfstab -U /mnt >> /mnt/etc/fstab

10. ln -sf /usr/share/zoneinfo/YourRegion/YourCity /etc/localtime

11. hwclock --systohc

12. edit /etc/locale.conf as applicable i.e LANG=en_US.UTF-8

13.(optional) add keyboard layout from #1 in /etc/vconsole.conf i.e KEYMAP=de-latin1

14. Create hostname file /etc/hostname YourHostName

15. Add matching files to /etc/hosts as follows:

127.0.0.1 localhost

::1 localhost

127.0.1.1 YourHostName.localdomain YourHostName

16. set root password with passwd

17. Install the best EFI bootloader, EFISTUB which can enable no bootloader and just the kernel directly.

18. Done, reboot without installation media

EPILOGUE: Leaving

Wow, you did it. You managed to install arch linux, and successfully communicate your order to a human bean. Pat yourself on the back and walk out like a chad with your head up high and jumping through the windows. This breaks the windows and symbolizes your newfound appreciation for customization available to you in Linux.

You're a freeman now, both on your computer and outside the KFC. Roam free and do as you please.

EDIT: thanks for the steam gold stranger!

Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1872372232

how to order kfc irl(18+)