FINAL FANTASY XIV Online Introduction to the races

The Beginning Of The Course

So welcome to this brand new guide into ffxiv races my dear newbs or dudes who have just bought a fantasia. Here I am to help you with this sophisticated task of choosing a race because I know that most of you bimbos will make a white haired miqote and then post thousand screenshots of your artificial waifu sneezing, sleeping, eating, sitting and etc, and i want to make you reconsider your decisions.

If you see your screenshot used in this guide

...

Then so what lol, accept it

The Gnomes

These are the gnome race, they are short, they are arrogant, they are selfish and mean and evil and mean. No one likes gnomes. They are always making fun of other races and being the bully. Gnomes pretend to be the most intelligent, to know all the mechanics, to be the leader of the party and etc. They have very high opinion of themselves and are always going to tell you what to do. Those pesty shortlings are the peak of self-affection. If you see a gnome in your party then know this - it's everyones fault of duty wipe but not the gnomes, gnome plays this game since pre-alphabeta and knows everything better than you so he can not possibly be guilty of anything.

Gnomes as well wear the fanciest glamours and 99% of them play tanks because they think that mobs will just miss all hits because they're short 'n stuff.

If you like to be the leader of the party then the gnome's your choice.

The Orcs

The Orcs are the second most boring race in the game. They are tall and strong and green and ugly. Not very much people actually like orcs and most of the community secretly despise them. Most of the orcs play tanks but they can be healers as well. Commonly you will meet an orc male rather than female bcs no one likes thos greens woomin.

A fun fact - all who playe orc female are female irl; and all who play orc male are or bear daddy gays; or just dude who thinks orc warrior is cool irl.

Pick this if you like green women or if you want to be a big strong green man warrior.

The Furries

Actually, furries do not exist in the game, they are a myth. If you will try to create a furry the game will crash. That's why you won't see them ingame. They were made only to make a feel of developers making content but actually they aren't.

Even if they don't exist, I highly doubt someone would like to make a giant gay furry beast as their main character.

The Catgorls

The clone wars have never seem so strange. I won't even explain anything to you. If you desire to play as an uggie-wuggie-tail creature then know - it will be you and hunderds of thousand more white-haired horny catgorls.

Neko-addicted play or a dps(most commonly) or a heal(rare).

Male catmen rarely appear in the game as both npc or human characters. If someone's playing male catearer than he will probably try to look cool, dark, misterious or anime main character and stuff but the closest he can get is being cringey as hell. No one likes male catphiles and that's why they are depressed all the time.

Floofy loofers as well praise their stoopid and useless kudere waifu "Yshtola" and if you want to hurt them the most you can remind them of this fact.

Pick this if you want to turn FFXIV into Neko Fantasy XXX

The Scalie People

They are the second most r34 race in this game after cats. Unlike cat lovers they are actually trying to be somehow diverse at least. The cringe levels of female draculoids can sometimes reach or even exceed the ones that cat owners posses.

Lizard males are rarely seen as well but levels of cringe are comprehensible as they are not so animeish.

Wyverns commonly play dps or tank.

Pick this if you like scalie yiff.

The Giraffes

One of the rarest races in the game together with orcs. The Giraffe players are rare creatures but they are at least somehow normal. Giraffes usually play as dps or heal and are kind to others in common. Male population, as well as it is by homosapiens, is bigger than female, unlike other races.

Pick this if you like Legolas and bOwS and playing hArP.

The Anthropoids

The twolegged-straight walkers are the most boring race. You are a human in real life why'd play this anyway???? Nevertheless even if playing ♥♥♥♥ erectus is eternal boredom, the playerbase is actually somewhat not cringy or edgy at all.

Male straightwalkers percentage is bigger than female, it is because all woemin play nekochaaaaans. The normies usually play as tanks or heals.

Pick this if you want to make Keeanu Reeves in FFXIV or you just want to be yourself.

The Ara-arers

The big tiddy mommy gf (or big tiddy goth gf [or onee-san gf]) is the biggest tiddy race in the game and they are actually the only reason I bought shadowbringers. That's it yeah.

Most of the big ears and tities play dps and less commonly heal.

"Every time i see a big tiddy bunny ear avatar i already know the person controlling them is 90% likely to be a mouth breathing neckbeard who stinks like a Smash player. Should have been in the guide" - remark from the comments

Pick this if you want to see boobies.

Yeah

And that's all I think. Make your choices wisely and remember - white hair on female is the apogee of evil and malice.

Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1918035559

Introduction to the races