Who Is The Hobo?
Many of us have noticed the big grey/yellow guy living inside the big yellow tree of Leyndell, but who is this man, and how did he end up here? Well, after some searching, I have found out!
If you search through the sewers of Leyndell, you might stumble upon a drivers license. This drivers license appears to belong to the tree guy. It might seem strange that it's in the sewers, but it makes some sense as there are no bins in Leyndell, so people probably just flush their rubbish down the toilet.
According to this drivers license his name is Radagon Ofthegoldenorder... That name is a bit of a mouthful, but I'm sure you've had bigger (pwned!). We can also infer from this that he is Irish, which is to be expected because he is ginger.
Now we know who the homeless guy is, but a few people are probably wondering why the community keeps calling Radagon homeless. Some people (idiots) will ask, how do we know he is homeless? The answer is that he lives in a tree.
Joblessness
I don't want to make this section out like I'm insulting the jobless. I love unjobbed people, but this section will discuss the laughable joblessness of Radagon (which is funny and laughable), so proceed with caution. You have been warned.
Radagon can be seen spending a lot of his time smacking an anvil, spending the majority of his time trying to repair his marriage (we will get to this later!). One might think that he is a blacksmith and makes things, but he is a FRAUD.
Radagon creates nothing with his hammer. In fights he spends all his time trying to hit you with it, and when he's not doing that he just smashes the floor like he's having a tantrum. If I were to be insulting, I'd say it doesn't even look like he knows how to use the hammer.
If you still aren't convinced he has no job, to make things even more clear, ask yourself if you see any materials. No, you don't. He has nothing to make anything with. In fact his entire big yellow tree house, which he locked himself into, is empty. He has nothing, because he has no money, because he has no job. Simple as.
Homeless and jobless, does this guy have anything going for him?
Radagon Or Radagoon?
Now we all know Radagon used to be in a relationship with Rennala. The relationship was going so well that they even got married :). However, this all changed when Rennala got a big egg. Radagon feared this was his big egg, and he wasn't ready for that responsibility. They divorced shortly after.
With Radagon now single, he gets very sad :(. But after enough sadness Radagon decides to invent Queen Marika. We know she isn't real because Radagon is claimed to be the same person as Marika. This isn't how people work. You are not me and Radagon is not Marika. This is stupid.
Now you might be thinking "but FartKillerX, I saw Marika in the tree with Radagon, she is real!". Well you'd better brace yourself, because this is going to be the most disgusting epiphany you ever have and you won't be able to unepiphanise it.
This picture of Marika is clearly not of a person. I don't know if you've ever seen a person before, but I know for a fact they do not crumble apart like this. This is a doll. And it's not just any doll... Yeah... It's one of THOSE dolls. This is pretty bad.
This is a doll which Radagon bought of his "totally real but goes to a different school" girlfriend. It's not a nice thought, but it is lore accurate. This homeless, jobless, divorced guy has used his imaginary girlfriend doll so much and so violently that it has started to crumble into pieces. Just horrible. Not sure why Miyazaki put this in the game...
The Slug Is Better
I know we all liked the slug boss, so it's not a controversial statement to say that the slug is much better than Radagon. The slug has all sorts of cool features like a sword, a bunch of pretty lights, and of course, dance moves (the worm). What does Radagon have?
Yellow.
That's it. That is all Radagon has to offer. Yellow. The above image, I'm sure you all know, is a frame from a fight with Radagon. Yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow. It's horrible. This boss fight is unironically the worst boss fight I have ever done. If you look at my achievements you will see that after beating Malenia (first try, fists only, naturally), it took me almost 3 MONTHS to beat Radagon because of how much yellow there is.
The amount of yellow this boss fight has is disturbing. And it gets me thinking. What are these yellow things? After having little yellow beams shot at me for the 100th time it occurred to me. Pee hands. This guy is disgusting. He hasn't washed his hands and just flicks pee at you, spills pee on the floor, or explodes pee directly onto you. And WE have to go through this just to get to the precious slug fight. It's just plain sad.
Conclusion
The homeless, jobless, divorced, pee hands, inanimate-object-loving grey guy is a weird choice for a video game about cool things that try to kill you, but who am I to question Miyazaki? Hopefully you've learned something about Radagon from reading this guide.
To summarise, we've found that the name of this guy is Radagon Ofthegoldenorder, that he doesn't have a house, or a job, or a wife, is quite depraved, and doesn't wash his hands. He's not the character we need, but he is the one we deserve.
Thanks for reading, and if you feel inclined to give me steam points, don't. Use them on yourself and treat yourself to some emotes which you can use to spell out naughty words.
Kind Regards,
FartKillerX
Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3261130731
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