7 Days to Die The Ultimate, Totally Serious, Not-at-All Panicked Guide to Surviving 7 Days to Die

Step 1: Punch Trees, Question Life Choices

You spawn in the middle of nowhere, armed with absolutely nothing but your fists and sheer desperation. Step one in any survival game? Punch a tree! This seems to be the universal law of gaming, because apparently wood can only be harvested by fist fights.

Collect Everything: See that pile of trash? Loot it. See that bush? Loot it. See that terrifying zombie heading your way? Uh, maybe don’t loot that just yet.

Craft Your Starter Tools: Once you've got a pile of sticks and rocks (congrats, by the way), make yourself a stone axe. This handy tool will be your best friend for chopping trees, mining rocks, and, in moments of desperation, whacking zombies in the face.

Build a Bedroll: Want to respawn in a “safe” place when you inevitably get mauled to death? Craft a bedroll and throw it down somewhere. Just try not to put it directly next to a zombie-infested house. That’s a rookie mistake—don’t ask me how I know.

Step 2: Avoid Zombies Like They’re Trying To Sell You Insurance

Zombies are slow and stupid during the day, but when the sun sets, they turn into track stars on a mission to turn you into a human chew toy.

Daytime: Slow & Dumb: Zombies during the day are basically walking target practice. They stagger around, moaning like they partied too hard last night. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Nighttime: Usain Bolt on Steroids: As soon as night falls, those lazy zombies transform into Olympic sprinters. They’ll chase you down like you owe them money. Pro tip: When night comes, hide in your base or get really good at running and screaming.

Stealth Is Your Friend: Crouch a lot and pray you’re quiet enough to avoid detection. Remember, the loudest thing in this game is you panicking.

Step 3: Building Your First “Fort” (a.k.a. A Shabby Death Trap)

Your first base will be a box made of wood, and that’s okay! Just know that this “fortress” is as sturdy as wet cardboard, and it’s only a matter of time before zombies turn it into a pile of splinters. But hey, it's home.

Find a Pre-Built House: Why waste time building when you can just squat in an abandoned house? Sure, it’s probably full of zombies, but once you “evict” them, it’s yours! Just slap some wooden spikes around it and call it a fort.

Upgrade Everything: The only way your base isn’t going to get turned into zombie confetti is by upgrading it. Wood becomes reinforced wood, which becomes cobblestone, and if you live long enough, you might get to concrete. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves—you’ll probably still be living in a plywood shack by day 7.

Traps, Traps, Traps: Put spikes everywhere. Outside the house, inside the house, around your bedroll, in your garden. If you can walk through your base without accidentally impaling yourself, you’re doing it wrong.

Step 4: The 7-Day Countdown To Disaster

You’ve got 7 days until the blood moon rises and the horde descends. Every 7 days, you get a zombie party you didn’t RSVP to, and they don’t bring snacks—they bring destruction.

Days 1-6: These are the “prep” days where you feel falsely secure. Spend this time gathering supplies, fortifying your base, and building a completely over-complicated escape route that you’ll never use because you’ll panic and forget about it when the time comes.

Day 7: When the blood moon rises, the zombies go berserk and attack your base like it insulted their mother. This is the time to kiss your fort goodbye and hope you’ve made peace with your pixelated gods.

Step 5: Food, Water, And The Endless Struggle To Not Starve

Surviving in "7 Days to Die" isn’t just about not becoming zombie chow—you also have to worry about pesky things like hunger and thirst. You can’t punch trees on an empty stomach, after all.

Scavenge for Food: Loot houses, break into stores, and raid kitchens like you’re prepping for a zombie-themed episode of Supermarket Sweep. Pro tip: If you find a can of peas, treat it like gold.

Hunt Animals: Feel like becoming a true hunter-gatherer? Grab a bow, chase down a deer, and marvel at how it takes 17 arrows to kill. But remember, cooking that meat on a fire turns you into a walking Happy Meal for zombies, so be stealthy about it.

Grow a Garden: Once you’ve raided every can of spam and cat food (hey, desperate times…), consider farming. But try not to cry when a zombie horde tramples your crops. Farming is hard, but rage-quitting because a zombie crushed your corn is even harder.

Step 6: Weapons: From Sticks To Boomsticks

In "7 Days to Die," weapons range from laughable to “HOLY EXPLOSION.” Your starting weapon will probably be a sharp stick, but eventually, you’ll have an arsenal that’d make Rambo jealous.

Primitive Weapons: Your first weapons will be things like wooden clubs, stone spears, and bows that shoot arrows slower than your grandma throws a bowling ball. Good luck!

Guns, Glorious Guns: Find guns, and cherish them. Ammunition is rarer than a unicorn sighting, so save those bullets for special occasions—like when a zombie breaks into your house and you panic-fire in every direction but theirs.

Explosives: Grenades, pipe bombs, and Molotov cocktails are here to make sure your last-ditch efforts are explosive and messy. Just make sure you throw out of your base, not in. Trust me on this one.

Step 7: Learn To Die With Style (Because You Will)

Death is inevitable. You will die. Repeatedly. But why not make it entertaining?

Zombie Swarm: You’re trying to loot a house when suddenly, the floor collapses, and you fall into a basement filled with zombies. Cue Benny Hill chase music as you sprint around in circles until they finally catch you.

Horrible Accidents: Digging a mine under your base seems like a great idea—until it collapses, and you bury yourself alive. Oops.

Friendly Fire: Accidentally whacking your friend with a sledgehammer during a zombie siege? Hilarious. (For you, not them.)

Step 8: Survive (Maybe) And Thrive (Unlikely)

If you manage to survive the first horde, congrats! Now rinse and repeat. The game keeps getting harder, and the hordes get bigger. Your base will collapse, you’ll lose your best loot, and you’ll question why you thought you could make it. But hey, that’s life in 7 Days to Die.

Final Thoughts

"7 Days to Die" is a game where every mistake gets punished, and survival is a hilarious mess of panicking, poor planning, and last-minute miracles. Whether you're battling zombies, desperately foraging for canned food, or accidentally blowing up your own base, remember this: You will die. Probably in the dumbest way possible. But that's part of the charm. Just slap down a bedroll, respawn, and get back to punching trees.

Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3352128352

The Ultimate, Totally Serious, Not-at-All Panicked Guide to Surviving 7 Days to Die