If you're reading this, you're looking to get in SHAPE or even moreso get JACKED. This guide will allow you to turn all those sweet heretic heads busted into MUSCLES MADE! Just follow the steps accordingly and you'll be on your way to being the peak physique that the god emperor made you to be. They are all made to be flexible, and have no real demand for punctuation. Change the values however you like, and have fun!
(Disclaimer: You're meant to tally all of the exercises up at the end and do them at that point. but you're more than welcome to do them on the fly. For example the war cry, Go ahead and do that on the go!)
Since we're going to be out and about on tertium, theres no doubt that you'll come across someone who wants to take the easy way. That being said, Here are the difficulties if you decide to take it slow, or pump it up to become the bane to heretics.
[THREAT LEVELS 1-2]: You're looking to keep it easy, or start soft.
Half of everything. All of your pushups can be done in the half-pushup position. And no punishment for losing (Though you still need to do the exercises that applied to you if you did lose.) You are allowed to completely ignore one exercise for completing the mission, but forfeit the option to halve two.
[THREAT LEVEL 3]: Default way I planned the regiment to work.
Change nothing about your exercise, and follow instructions normally. You are allowed to halve one type of exercise upon completing a mission, but must do 50% more of all workouts upon failing.
[THREAT LEVEL 4]: You're looking for a challenge, and to be sore tomorrow.
Double the length of time-sensitive exercises you do (Running in place, Knee highs, Planking is optional) You are still allowed to halve one type of exercise. You must do TWO TIMES the amount of everything upon failing (Time-sensitive exercises are exempt from this penalty).
[THREAT LEVELS 5-6]: You're training to be a space marine. The High road.
You are not allowed to halve any exercise upon completing a mission. Exercises that involve being downed, killed, or incapacitated in any way (Trapper not included) are doubled. Upon losing you must do two times of all required things, on top of replacing half of your push ups with your choice of wide-armed push ups, or diamond push ups.
[THREAT LEVEL 6+]: You're a servitor made for getting gains. Borderline self torture.
Double everything, regardless of winning or losing. you are required to triple at least one of your punishments from their base value upon completing a mission. Upon losing, replace half of all push ups with burpees.
Downed? 5 Pushups
Tertium has no room for weakness. Better use that time on the ground doing something useful.
Downed By A Specialist? 10 Sit-ups Each.
You got hit down to your knees by an extra-heinous heretic? Better work out those core muscles to make sure it doesn't happen again. On the ground, Loyalist!
You Were Killed And Captured In Action. 10 Squats, And 15s Plank For Each Minute Left In Captivity.
Look what you did. Now your loyal teammates need to work harder to get you out! Practice kneeling by doing some squats, and planking the longer it takes for your fellow rejects to bail you out. (Planks optional, since it can get quite ridiculous)
Failed The Mission? 25 Second Plank, And 50% Extra Of Any Exercises You Were Punished For.
You're a disgrace. Use the time planking to reflect on what you did wrong, And put in a little extra work for your negligence. (THIS VARIES ON DIFFICULTY. SEE "DIFFICULTIES" SECTION FOR MORE INFO.)
Completed The Mission? Halve Two Of Your Required Exercises, 20 Punches, And Five Pushups.
Congratulations, reject. You made it through without dying. Halve two of your required exercises, and keep that fury burning, and blood boiling by doing five push ups, and punching the air 20 times. (VARIES ON DIFFICULTY)
Captured By A Trapper? 10 Russian Twists.
Maybe next time you'll be more attentive to the sound of a charging net-gun. Practice thrashing yourself out!
Picked Up Extra Ammo? Five Curls, Or Five Push Ups Per Teammate In "Orange" Or Worse Ammo Emptiness.
Better work those biceps if you wanna hog all the rounds. Get lifting!
Optionally, if you don't have something heavy to curl, Do five half push-ups.
(Doesn't count if you are low yourself. If with a friend, ask how empty the game says you are. Otherwise, just eyeball it and determine yourself.)
Took An Extra Shot Of Medicae? 10 Sit Ups.
Your greedy, reckless mindset will cost you. Commend all the dead prisoners that could have used that extra little lick of medicine with 10 sit ups.
Fell Off A Ledge? 20 Climbers (10x Each Leg)
Don't be such a clumsy goose. Work on climbing so your teammates don't need to save you again.
(Optional: Do 5 pull-ups if possible.)
Got Eaten By The Beast Of Nurgle? Run In Place For 20 Seconds + 5 Crunches Per Health Chunk Lost While Eaten.
Looks like you need to practice seeing danger before it gets close enough to eat you. Practice strategically retreating, and writhing in agonizing digestive acid with some curls.
Slayed A Miniboss? One War Cry (optional), And Replace One Of Your Required Exercises With A 20 Second Wall Sit
Felled a great deal of heresy? Scream your heart out in the name of the godking, In no specific way. even just an inert bloodlust filled scream will work. And replace one of your workouts with a small 20 second breather wallsit. You've earned it.
Killed A Daemonhost? Exempt From All Exercises. (Above Threat Level Two, Only Applies If Mission Is Completed.)
Great job, reject. The emperor would be proud. You can take the day off, get some water, some rest, and prepare to kill even more.
Knocked A Teammate Off The Edge (and Killed Them) With An Exploding Barrel?
Do every exercise listed in the guide at normal difficulty. Politely leave the game if asked. Go sit in the corner and think about your life.
Got An Emperors Gift? Hold Something Heavy In The Air For Ten Seconds.
Work those hard earned muscles, and show your newfangled space weapon to the world, and show your appreciation for the emperor.
Last Person To Make It To The Evac Ship? 30 Seconds Of High-knees.
The imperium doesn't have time for you being a slowpoke. Get that heartrate pumping!
Killed Yourself With Peril Or Plasma Gun Explosion? 5 Burpees! (-1 For Each Specialist Killed In The Explosion)
Something so easy should become natural, If you're a soldier with a faulty trigger finger on your plasma rifle, some burpees should whip you back into shape. Get to it, warrior.
Woke Up The Daemonhost? 10 Push Ups.
Since you like clambering around like a doofus with a head full of water and faulty stims, You can clamber around on the ground, like the heretic host was doing just a few moments you arrived.
Forgot To Grab One Of The Scriptures/evil Books? 10 Lunges (5 Each Leg)
Looks like you think leaving behind holy articles (or unholy articles unpurged) is merely just a sidequest. Lunges will fix that false ideology.
Go Through An Airlock/switch Door? 15 Seconds Run In Place.
You're (probably) half way there! Keep your head up, and your heart rate on a healthy course. The lazy die fast!
Last Hit On Exterminatus Target / Miniboss? Exempt Yourself While Your Teammates Do 5 Additional Squats.
Looks like you made it past that hurdle, You're safe for now. While you can sit in the corner alone, your teammates can celebrate by adding 5 squats to their agenda. Celebratory war cry optional.
(Last But Not Least) Using The Boltgun/Plasma Rifle? 5 Curls With Something Heavy.
Lugging around a gun the size of your torso isn't just going to make you stronger over time. Get some lifts in to make sure you don't spontaneously have a severe cause of arm-obliteration or worse.
That sums it up for what will get your body stronger than diamantine. I Hope you had, and have a great time exercising. I Hope it builds comradery with your fellow rejects and friends, And at the very least, gives you a reason to start exercising. I'd love to hear your feedback or suggestions, and i'll add them to the list! You are free to modify any of these to your liking. I'll hope to see you guys out there purging some enemies of the imperium.
FOR THE GOLDEN THRONE!
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