One Possibility
Watch the in-game Log for the message of a lords defeat and capture. Then check in the encyclopedia for entries of female characters. You can bring up a menue for both with ''Q''.
If you happen to find a lord who is captured and also has a woman labelled ''wive'' or ''mother'' you can go to the lords fief ( if its a castle or town), the location of said woman.
She may offer you a quest to free her husband and thereby gain relationship points with her.
Free her husband ( conquer the castle he is in or talk to the lord who captured him ).
This way you will be able to win her favor and increase your relation with ervery lord of her faction with whom you have negative relationship points by:
1 Point - 1000 Denars
2 Points - 2000 Denars
3 Points - 3000 Denars
I hope i was able to help you , have a nice day :)
Also a link for a very useful website showing all possibilities to change the realtion:
https://mountandblade.fandom.com/wiki/Ladies
Another Possibility
Once you win a tournament you can dedicate the victory to said lady, therefore increasing the relationship. This is why you should give towns to married vassals, in order to have access to this option.
Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2052444877
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