Mon Bazou The TescoDespiser Mon Bazou Nonsense "Guide"

First Things First

BIG NOTE: THIS GUIDE IS SO WORK IN PROGRESS I HAVEN'T FINISHED ALL SECTIONS OF IT'S MAIN ATTRACTION. I WANTED TO GET THIS PUBLIC JUST SO I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I WAS WASTING MY TIME

Hi, I'm TescoDespiser/TescoEnjoyer (depending on the platform lmao) and I made this guide as well as that one about the Konig's bolts which might become part of this. Do what you want with the information I am about to give.

NOTE: Most, if not all, of the images you see in this guide are made on a cheated save that I am using for the purpose of making this guide and nothing else, while I frankly don't care if you do cheat, I don't when I play Mon Bazou (exception being for the creation of this guide, obviously).

NOTE 2: "if this isn't really a guide why is it tagged with walkthrough?" if you have a better suggestion for the tag(s) this guide should receive please shove them where the sun don't shine tell me camly and respectfully in the comments and I will possibly change it

"How Much Does An OEM Konig Cost?" Intro

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Hopefully you know what the Konig is before you clicked on this. As the Title of this section implies I am going to figure out how much it would cost to take the Konig from the start of the game to a mildly acceptable OEM standard. for reference I will start with this (it's the same as you start with i just put the wheel and intake on)

without further ado let's get to "upgrading" this thing

I would also like to mention, because i cant think of anywhere else to put this, that there is a rusty bolt inside the glovebox for the ECU, replace it if you want because I know it will drive some of you insane if I don't mention it somewhere. There are also 10 bolts for the seats, so if you also want to replace those, do it.

OEM Konig Step 1 - The Simplest Parts

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So, what I mean by "simplest parts" is anything that does not require bolts to be removed or parts replaced, which is essentially just the dent and rust repair. so to figure that out we'll need to find what parts are dented and rusty

There are 10 parts in such condition (hood, engine bay, grille, fenders, doors, body, roof and trunk) which means 1 dent repair kit (it's reusable) and 10 rust repair kits (not quite as reusable) as well as a paint can or 2 of your colour choice (i will be going with white as the car is already that colour and we only need to paint the bumper)

The place to find these components is this shelf in Kali-gas, however only 4 rust repair kits spawn per day, meaning you'll have to show up for 3 days straight (or buy another 4 from roger if you have unlocked his shop without de-rusting the Konig, which will only take 2 days total)Simply buy everything you need and then apply to the Konig.

The cost of this is $72.99 for the dent repair kit, $12.99 for the paint can (again, white paint) and $499.90 for the rust repair kits, which isn't even the most expensive part of the process

The subtotal of this section is: $585.88

The total so far is: $585.88 (obviously)

OEM Konig Cost Step 2 - Still Basics

Note: I got lazy writing the titles

So, now our Konig is looking... Well the panels are smooth and not rusted out anymore so we have that. The next step will be anything we can change about the car's mechanical components without looking outside of Kali-gas, while we can also add the OEM shocks here, i will not as it is easier to do with the rest of the suspension components later.

To put it simply, we are buying 4 brake rotors, 4 brake calipers, 4 wheel bearings and the ABS module. These components are all on the same shelf as the repair kits, so i would recommend if possible to purchase as much of them as possible on the same day you buy the first 4 rust repair kits. This is because only 2 of the parts you need 4 of spawn.

Now, for the cost. Rotors are $43.96 total, calipers are $497.96 total, wheel bearings are $159.96 total and the ABS module is $299.98.

I am going to introduce the first of the "optional costs" here (this will mainly be metal bolts but if you don't want to buy them it's nice not having to (especially for places where you cant see them like under the Konig)) Since we are only replacing brakes we only need one box of metal bolts, as brake calipers are 2 bolts each and 2x4 is less than 12. These bolts are $24.99.

You should buy a magnetic tray or 2 to keep track of your bolts but I will not be factoring this in with the cost. Also, if you want you can replace the bolt on the broken ABS module with a metal one, meaning you only have 3 left instead of 4, only a small detail.

Subtotal for this section: $1,001.86

Subtotal plus optional costs: $1,026.85

Total so far: $1,587.74

Total so far (incl. optional): $1,612.73

OEM Konig Step 3 - "Simple" Cosmetics

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NOTE: this is where it starts to get significantly more time consuming, so get 25 friendship with Jacques while making money and then come back to this guide.

NOTE 2: This section is suprisingly long, despite being the cheapest.

NOTE 3:The Konig is no rally car, especially with the blown shocks, drive carefully

Well, if you have been following this far your Konig should now go and stop and look.... mediocre. Presumably you want to change that, and so do I. So let's do it.

This section will be the cheapest (at $0 to roughly $50 depending on bolts) but will make a HUGE difference.

I'm betting your Konig looks something like that right now, so let's fix that. For this section you will need a few things:

-at least 25 friendship with Jacques (previously mentioned)

-Jackstands (2 is acceptable but 4 is perfect)

-adjustable wrench

-bolts (if you have a magnetic tray just take whatever is left from the previous section)

-tire pump (very important, no-one likes flat tires)

-your paint can (bumper is grey by default and your car is white if you've been following word for word)

-(OPTIONAL) your old rusty parts, you won't be needing them and you can sell them at the skip just outside the junkard (click the sign on the side to sell anything inside the skip)

So, load your Konig up with everything listed (except for friendship as that's not tangible) and head to the scrapyard, I'd tell you where to look but this isn't that kind of guide.

Once you're there, open the gates and find some specific items:

-OEM steering wheel, a radio and the OEM wheels (all located within the Konig below, right click then left click to pick up the radio)

-All-Season tires (in the large tire pile to the left as you walk in)

-Konig OEM front bumper (located in a different scrap Konig further to the right than the one pictured above)

-Konig manual transmission (in the skip in the far right of the junkyard with the Mustang shoved in it)

Then, just bolt almost everything (transmission swaps are easier at home if you have the garage and mechanical crawler) on your Konig and inflate the tires to 32 PSI, the factory pressure according to the inside of the Konig's driver door sill.

If you want metal bolts to make your wheels look nicer, you will need an extra 2 boxes ($49.98) as the wheels have 20 bolts total, you can use the remaining bolts to secure the bumper and new wheel in place.

So, total with extras is $1,662.71 (you don't get a full cost look as it's only one added cost)

The obvious way to end this section is with the pictures of what it looks like afterwards so here you go:

(WIP) OEM Konig Part 4 - Suspension, Transmission, Exhaust

NOTE: This'll get expensive

NOTE 2: I am slowly losing my sanity doing this, but I must continue or I'll feel even more insane knowing it was never finished.

So, the suspension and stuff in the title (I'm writing less formally because it's faster), let's get it all installed.

Okay, so before we start some more info: most new OEM parts are found at Roger's shop, which you can only buy from after (this is a complete guess) spending $5000 on items from his van. I'm not factoring that cost in, but know it is one you will have to pay (let's be honest most of you are doing this to give the scrap Konig a use). The other thing to note is that there is the cheaper option of only replacing the shocks and using rust repair kits on the control arms, i wont be doing this so i dont know what it'll cost you.

So, to start this section we'll need OEM shocks, they're on the shelf at Kali-gas you've seen before, again you need 4, there's only 2 per day, so 2 days. These cost $299.96 total. While you're at Kali-gas, get 3 rust repair kits, for the sway bars and the differential ($149.97), the OEM muffler ($79.99) and the exhaust pipe, it says performance but unless something changed you cant rust repair the actual OEM exhaust pipe ($120.99). Next, is the components from Roger's shop (mentioned above). For now, we just need control arms ($399.98 for front, $239.98 for back, $639.96 total) and the left taillight as the one on the Konig is broken ($159.99)

Now we have our components we can assemble them on to the Konig, it is highly recommended that you have the mechanical crawler, all 4 jackstands and, if possible, the air compressor to significantly speed this process up.

First, the front suspension, specifically the shocks, if you want to you can remove the wheel and brake rotor to get a better look for the bolts, but the lower ones are behind the wheel (2 on each side) and the upper ones are under the hood (5 on each side)

Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3100129157

The TescoDespiser Mon Bazou Nonsense "Guide"