Knightfall: A Daring Journey The Completely Professional And Essential Guide To Knightfall

Why This Abomination Exists.

The Completely Professional And Essential Guide To Knightfall image 1

So, I made this guide because the game is, as of three days ago when writing this, free.

And if there's one thing my friends love, it's free crap.

Especially free crap by Landfall, because it is always gold.

So, I've decided to prepare this guide for my friends, as well as the general populace, with my many, many hours of experience as a professional knight.

... okay, let's ignore that.

Congrats, You're A Gay Knight.

So, now you've been dropped into one of Landfall's signatuure janky Unity worlds, with nothing but a horse, the handsome face of a stranger or friend, and a gun- wait, a gun?

First, let me list off the actual, useful rules, before I turn this whole guide into a meme.

-Don't travel at night (death)

-Travel until you find a town during the day (50/50 chance of death)

-Grab everything you can (help increase other people's chance of death)

Now, let's get this guide moving, you filthy casuals.

Horse Etiquette

The most important thing in this game is your horse. Without it, you are quite literally going nowhere.

Also it drifts but screw you I'm not going into the exact exercise your fingers need so you can hit spacebar and D just in time to hit 88 miles an hour to drift into 1955 and tell your best friend to wear Kevlar.

Just drift as often as you can on turns, it make you go speed.

If you're driving, your jobs are to:

-Steer, idiot. And don't randomly jump off the horse in the middle of the road for no reason (to my friend, you know who you are.)

...

Moving on from that inside joke, you should also:

-Frequently check your map to make sure you're going the right direction.

-Have your gun handy to deal with barricades.

As for whoever is sitting in the back: your options are either:

-Hold your flag and look like a badass.

-Hold LMB with your horn until your friend starts cussing you out.

If another duo starts following you, do not try to shoot them. Between the random terrain and the general speed, you are not going to hit anything. The horse is immortal.

Towns. (Yeah I Couldn't Think Of A Witty Title Screw You Too)

After a little riding (on your horse, as in MOVING, you horny fools) You'll find a town. This is where you hide from the schizophrenia demons that kill you at night, and grab supplies. Here's what you do.

-Barge in in typical D&D party fashion and take everything you can hold.

-Shoot anyone that isn't wearing the same colors you are. (I could go into what this statement might imply as to how we act as societies and a species as a whole... but I won't)

-PARP on your horns until night is over.

There's usually two chests in every town, holding enchanted weapons. You will never remember where the hell they are. The important thing is that they are absolutely your property and not at all that of whoever lives in the town (nobody.)

Combat

This is probably what you're here for, so let me disappoint you sweats.

I am not here to tell you what weapon you should use. I am an avid hater of metas.

I am only going to tell you your options. From there, I'll leave it to you to use them for the goal of knocking your opponent's body out of their soul.

-Basic Pistol: The starter weapon. It's alright.

-Glock: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT

-Revolver: Big Iron intensifies This shoots as fast as you click. All those years playing BedWars instead of having friends will finally help outside of Minecraft!

-AK: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT II: Electric BRRRRRRRRRRRRRTaloo

-Musket: You don't own this for home defense, you just love the Civil War and want to try and snipe.

-M1 Garand: This is a musket with a magazine, but what you really want is that beautiful ping when you reload. Can't blame ya.

-Sawed-off Shotgun: 1-shot at close range. Not really versatile, but hilarious when you pull it off.

-Bow: They're taking the hobbits to Isengard, and so you're gonna shoot them with the strongest weapon here. (takes while to charge up, be very careful)

-Fireball Spellbook: This is just fun to use.

-Magic Missile Spellbook: This is NOT just fun to use. Just the Basic Pistol for NERDS.

-Kick: (Press F): I... can't think of anything funny to say for this.

-Fists: You only have these if you just got revived and haven't picked up your gun yet. I wouldn't try to use them.

-Bomb: Do I have to explain this?

Some Tips:

-Don't try to snipe people. The game's "black outline" artstyle and minimal scoping doesn't lend itself to picking out targets from a long distance. It's easier to pick off enemies when they're nearby.

-USE COVER. It will save your life.

-Don't do anything stupid.

The Castle Of Aaaaaargh The Rose

So, you made it to the Castle. This is where everything comes together. Grab that rose after killing anything that isn't wearing your colors (still not gonna talk about it, this is Steam, not Sociology 101), and confess your true feelings for your friend! Hopefully they also feel that way...

(Last tip: for maximum motivation, throw on a bardcore cover of your favorite metal song.)

Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3272569059

The Completely Professional And Essential Guide To Knightfall