:)
1. Have a massive ego even though you use S tier characters and suck at the game. This is key to enjoying this game as without a massive ego, what are you going to do when you kill someone? NOT ♥♥♥♥ talk and emote spam on their corpse? Blasphemous.
2. Make sure your IQ is below 10. Anything above this threshold will result in you ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING USEFUL. In gamemodes like domination and breach, it is VERY important that you never help your teamates. You should always be at the healing zone or on a turret, as this doesn't help your team the most. And if your team asks for your help, just simply say "git gud."
3. Make sure to always hit your teamates when fighting off enemies. This is absolutely necessary, because who else is going to keep your teamates on their toes? They should always be at low health because your dumbass doesn't understand spacing.
4. Be sure to emote spam everyone all the time, even when you're losing. Doing this not only instills pride in the hollow vessel that is you, but it shows dominance. Not only that, studies show that emote spamming in losing situations actually increases your skill. Don't ask for a source.
5. Be super racist in chats. Self explanatory.
6. In 4v4 gamemodes religiously use the following characters: Orochi, Shinobi, Peacekeeper, and Nabushi. These are all SUPER good characters who DEFINITELY help your team the most in 4v4s. Need someone to hold off a 3v1 until your teammates stop jerking off in a corner? PICK NABUSHI. This OBVIOUSLY helps your team the most.
7. Always have either the punisher, or hentai face as your emblem. This shows just how creative and quirky you are, and truly does fit your personality.
8. Whenever someone kills you, blame your team. Even in 1v1s always blame your team. OR you can blame lag, though this doesn't convince your killer that they won due to bull-♥♥♥♥ quite as often.
9. Whenever you're faced with being the last alive on a broken team, RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING. You obviously can still clutch up, so always keep running, don't let the enemies finish you off.
10. If you're losing 2-0 just unplug your computer. If you didn't see the loss neither did they right?
And this concludes the guide. Have a nice day.
Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2148415265
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