ELDEN RING malenia stepping on my nuts is at the tippity top of my bucket list

Why I Have Changed My Stance On Karla [EMOTIONAL]

Now, some of you that have seen my DSIII guide (i.e. my dog, and his dog and my grandmaz and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM said it was good so SHUT. the ♥♥♥♥. UP. my guide is GOOD. if you disagree, i WILL find you SO FAST youll think im a federal agent, and ill tear you limb from limb like youre a fallout new vegas fanboy) may know of my karla guide that i made roughly a year or so ago.

Now, I found it a silly little joke. A rather minuscule tomfoolery. But, I was also a rather silly little boy back then.

My underdeveloped Slavic monkey brain could not have ever forseen the consequences of my actions.

Let me tell ya, EVERYTHING was good before that article.

I had a 7 bedroom mansion to which 44th president Barrack Obama would come to every day to personally deliver me a Nobel Peace Prize, a beautiful wife that NEVER told anybody that I would hit her, a garage BRIMMING with beautiful cars made by the FINEST Congolese sweatshop child labor, and my children used to live in the same house as I did. You bet your bottom dollar I was flexing on ALL the homeless orphans with my house keys and children who had me and my wife as present parents. And when I was not absolutely EMASCULATING those homeless orphans, I would be worshiped for simply EXISTING, and walking the Earth, as if I was the Messiah.

Then, one day, I wanted to do something silly. Something.. rather devious.

I decided to write my breakout guide on Karla, and it garnered a lot of traction (3 people) and I never foresaw any of it. I was bedazzled.

But then, I started noticing... a particularly peculiar change.

In the first week after my guide became an all-time classic, I stopped getting a Nobel Peace Prize every day - it was now every 2 days.

But I shrugged it off, blaming it on the pandemic and the declining trout population.

Little did I know, there was a CONSPIRACY against me...

IT WAS THE SHADOW GOVERNMENT ALL ALONG.

MY WIFE. Did NOT. LEAVE ME. Because I was a "DOMESTIC TERRORIST" or because I was a "METH ADDICT".

ITS ALL THAT GUIDES FAULT. ITS THE SHADOW GOVERNMENT. THE CLUES LIE IN ST. PETERS BASILICA. THIS IS A NEW WORLD ORDER RISING, AND THEY WILL PURGE ALL WHO DO NOT HELP CREATE ROKO'S BASILISK...

BUILD YOUR ARK NOW NOAH, OR REGRET I-

Mr. Marcelo "NEMNEM" Blouse Mattre IIIII

malenia stepping on my nuts is at the tippity top of my bucket list - and heres WHY [PHOTO] image 17

Alright, I got cut off... Strange, this must be the SHADOW GOVERNMENT at work again...

wait what the ♥♥♥♥ is famous Detroit rapper Marshall Bruce Mathers III (born October 17, 1972), known professionally as Eminem (/ˌɛmɪˈnɛm/; stylized as EMINƎM) doing in my Gosh-diggity-darn BuzzFeed article???? Seal this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ BOO-BOO BEAR within the Earth at ONCE, my psionic HVPERBQREAN VVARRIQRS! I CQMMAND YQV!!!!

Alright... now that... ♥♥♥♥, man... he's gone. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. That scared the ♥♥♥♥ out of me. Alas, back onto my 100% serious, totally not unhinged rant.

No. No, I dont want to, and I dont need to take my lithium. Shut up.

WAR WORLD 3 2023

malenia stepping on my nuts is at the tippity top of my bucket list - and heres WHY [PHOTO] image 23

WAR WORLD 3 2023!!! HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR BUNKER!?

HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR BUNKER!? ARE YOU READY FOR ARMAGEDDON?

WAR WORLD 3 IS COMING

NUCLEAR DESTRUCTION

ITS ALL THE SECRET RADIO SHADOW GOVERNMENT'S FAULT

BUY BUNKER TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SECRET RADIO RADIO WAVES... THEY ARE TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOU INTO THINKING DARK SOULS 1 IS A GOOD GAME AND SACRIFICING YOUR CAT TO M0L0CH BAAL................................ BILLGATE$$$$$$OFH3LL MICROCHIP MANIPULATION....

Sorry The Previous Section Was Written By My Brother Its Not My Fault Please Unban Me

Although my brother likes to cheat in videSTEAN GYUUIDESs. I go out of town with friends and tell my 12 year old brother the password to my computer to let him plWRITEy while I’m not able to and then I come back to a VAC ban on my only account. But since it’s my account I’m responsible for whatever gets used on it. So I’m pissed that he stopped me from being able to plaWRITEy on that account and stopped me from even having a single percent of a chance to get mod. But I now know a lesson of never leave your computer with your 12 year old brother and expect something not to happen...

plz unban me Gabriel Newelltonthonthompsonovich...

This Is The Part With A Retarded Copypasta About Malenia (probably Why You Came Here)

Alright, now... Now that I have been unbanned for something done CLEARLY by my little brother (I TOOK MY LITHIUM (i didnt) OKAY???) I can resume my speech... Ever since everything went downhill - ever since I made that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Karla guide... I have been miserable.

My wife? Gone, left.... The kids? She took them...My mansion?? Burned. To the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ GROUND.

I decided then, to take matters into my own hands.

I began running 10 miles every day, beginning at 05:00 every day.

I would meditate for 3 hours straight afterwards.

Then, in order to eat, I would eat nothing but rain worms and puddle water, to truly connect with Mother Nature.

And then.

I was blessed by Mother Nature.

Blessed with the power to steal from the local Walmart and run away - completely unnoticed.

I stole an entire house for myself doing this, and that is how I am sharing my story.

I had found an obscure, hidden gem of a game known as "El Dun Ran Goose"

And then, 150 hours into playing the game I was enlightened... by her.

As if, something inside me awoke.

Only then did I learn that I want Malenia more than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life.

Imagine your childhood desire to receive a coveted toy, or your urge to eat your favorite meal after a long day.

Now imagine this urge tenfold.

Nay, hundredfold.

I imagine us basking in each other's glow while we sit in front of the fireplace.

The Shawshank Redemption is on, but we're not really paying attention, because we can't stop thinking about pressing our bodies together and creating the beautiful musical melody of love and passion.

I enter her as we become one singular being, a being of lust and yet, simultaneously, of tenderness.

These thoughts have consumed my life. It started out small: I would think of plunging my chivalrous shaft into her luscious pink body during lunchtime or a spare moment.

But this built and built until all I can think of, during all hours of the day, is serenading Malenia with my harmonious love songs that I wrote just for her while I caress her pink body, the encapsulation of sensuality, and engulf myself within her red radiance.

I imagine her wings closing us off from the rest of the humanity as we engage in unspeakable escapades within our own private little world.

That's what I want.

That's what I need.

Epilogue - An Open Letter To Mr. Gates

malenia stepping on my nuts is at the tippity top of my bucket list - and heres WHY [PHOTO] image 60

Now that I have Gotten Thaat Out of the Way..

I Would Like To Finish This With An Open Letter to Mr.BillGates ---------------------------- You are a genius no doubt. You have conquered the realm of computing & made a ton of $$$. But a genius never stands still. You are searching for something but not yet found it. That search is for truth, the meaning of life. That points to spirituality. You can take example from hololens/VR headset that there has to be someone behind the headset to observe & understand. But again in error you have focussed your search in material realm of DNA RNA etc bio-computing which leads to vaccines. However, can vaccines show you the truth? Due to western orientation you have come in contact with negative spirituality due to your association with J.Epstein. Your deeds are with you which cannot be erased in normal manner, but there is hope. The truth is very simple but elusive & every person has to find it in one's own experience. Then it becomes a singular fact about which many persons & religions were theorizing in thousand plus ways. There are ways to experience the supernatural truth , but what is the way & direction. The way (& truth) is within you. Any person that seeks truth has to turn attention within. Learn meditation to still your thoughts & feelings. Buddha showed that path. When you can do long meditations of many hours (2hr or more), then one day you will feel collapse of your attention within , an implosion. Then bliss & truth shall shine forth. Then you will know what is hidden within each creature & how benign it is. Different religions call it with different names. (Time required:10 years or more to be invested but you can be lucky)

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Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2833972617

malenia stepping on my nuts is at the tippity top of my bucket list - and heres WHY [PHOTO]