Clicking the Cookie

The Cookie Basics

Clicking the Cookie:

When playing Cookie Clicker, the most basic currency you will use are Cookies. You gain these Cookies both manually and automatically. You can earn them automatically by buying upgrades with Cookies, which will passively earn you Cookies, giving you different levels of Cookie revenue depending on which upgrade you purchase. For example, if you purchase a Grandma, she will not produce as many Cookies as a Fractal Engine would. But, the more Cookies something produces, the more costly it may be.

Alternatively, you can earn Cookies manually by clicking the Cookie. To do this, you will need to equip yourself with something known as a mouse, which is defined as "any of numerous small rodents (as of the genus Mus) with pointed snout, rather small ears, elongated body, and slender tail" (Merriam Webster Dictionary) This is not the type of mouse you will require though. Many people get caught at this part of the guide and buying mice (see definition above) messes up later parts of your Cookie Clicker play-through, especially if you are attempting a 100% speed-run of the game. The definition we will be using is as follows: "a small mobile manual device that controls movement of the cursor and selection of functions on a computer display" (Merriam Webster Dictionary) You can purchase these devices in many different places, you can find them in stores such as Target, Walmart, and Best Buy. You can also order them online from many different dealers. Mice can be sold for anything from $5 to as much as $100, and even more.

Getting Close With Your Mouse

After purchasing one of these devices, you will want to get comfortable with your new mouse. Sometimes after purchasing them they can be shy, and might be afraid if you attempt to encroach its privacy too soon after meeting them. Easy ways to form a great relationship with your mouse are: Gently caressing your mouse from the head, slowly falling back to its lower back. Cleaning it by either filling its holes with compressed air, or stuffing a sticky gel in them and letting it sit for a few minutes. Both of which will clear your new mouse friend of any debris inside of its holes. You can also plug its tail into your PC tower, we do not yet know why but mice love being plugged into these. It is hypothesized that the electrical current that comes from the tower powers the mice in some kind of way. It is thought that this "power" causes the same feeling for the mice that a high would for a human.

Clicking Your Cookie

Now that you and your mouse have gotten a little bit closer, you can start to click your Cookies with them. To do this you will need to open the Cookie Clicker application. This will be one of the first activities you and your mouse "get up to". You can open Cookie Clicker by gently laying your hand along the spine of your mouse, directing it to where its visual marker on the monitor is hovering over the Cookie Clicker app. You then intimately (or non-intimately depending on whether or not your relationship with your mouse has escalated to a degree where this is appropriate,) click your index finger twice in quick succession on the head of your mouse. With your app opened, you can now almost begin clicking your Cookies!

Before reading the final steps for "Clicking the Cookie", mentally prepare yourself for what is to come. This is typically the most difficult part of the tutorial, and it requires a large amount of tranquility. Now that you are ready, search your screen for the large Cookie which usually likes to float above a waving pool of milk on the left side of the screen. Before clicking him you have to casually approach him, not too fast as that might make him think you are trying to jump him. Do not approach too slow either, as he might think you are stalking him, and will sink under his ocean of delicious, creamy milk. The best way to get close to him without raising any suspicion is to speed-walk in a zig-zag line towards him, but apply a wave like motion to your zig-zaggy walk.

By this point you will now be in close proximity with your Cookie. Try to start up a friendly conversation with him. If he is obviously not having it, just leave. I advise you to come back the next day and try again. If he does allow for a verbal exchange to commence, leap on top of him without any prior warning. Before he can knock you off of him, once again intimately click your mouse once with your index finger, and this will bring so much physical pleasure to your cookie that his entire body will stretch out in all directions for a short moment, and he will no longer attempt to push you off of him as he has never felt something as amazing as you just caused him to feel. Every time you click him you will produce Cookies, which you can now spend on upgrades, which give you more Cookies per click! You can even automate clicking him by installing an "auto-clicker", and you can set your mouse to click the cookie thousands of times per second which stimulates the Cookie so much that every single pore in his body starts leaking Cookies. This procedure can be called "milking", many people milk their Cookies. When you milk him, you will obtain considerably more Cookies from his body, so I personally encourage you to milk him.

In Conclusion,

At this point you have learned how to properly click, or "milk" your Cookie! Thank you for reading my guide on how to click your Cookie. I hope that this guide has given you incredible insight on what you can do while playing Cookie Clicker.


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