How To Have No Friends
The basics: At the time of writing this guide I've played for 132 hours and can confidently say this game is a perfect bonding environment for you and your "friends". Here's how to make your time more enjoyable!
Step 1: pick a legend There's a whole ton of choices when it comes to what legend you'll grind play as. Take your time, since it's an important step. I have personally grew fond to Mako the shark.
As you can see I have lvl 36 shark. It'd have been higher, but my "friends" pressured me into playing another character, that is why I am now normal and actually have said friends.
From personal experience it's most effective if you play characters who utilize the rocket lance. This weapon allows you to fly borderline endlessly and recover easily. Here's the list of characters with said weapon:
Still, with some dignity left I never really used rocket lances.
Mako is awesome for many things, but particularly because her upper heavy throws your opponent straight down into the void which makes it more annoying. Speaking of...
Step 2: The Grind: Now that we have taken our pick, it's time to grind. Make sure to play as much as you possibly can with your legend, become one with it. Your playstyle should be as annoying as it can possibly be. Spam attacks, NEVER go after anybody. Make your stand and spam heavy attacks at them. Grind until you know just how to make your "friends" lives miserable.
Step 3: Argue: Your discord call gets heated because your playstyle is too awesome for them to comprehend. It's okay, you aren't the one to blame, your "friends" on the other hand...
Step 4: The awesome: You are now successfully friendless, congrats! The sweet and cold embrace of forever loneliness is enveloping you as you stare at your lvl 63 Scarlett. Play matchmaking for that epic MMR, it's not like you *need* "friends". Sides, you like them numbers going up, don't you?
Step 5: Close the game: Close the game by exiting the game.
Source: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3419796397
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